apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
