i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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