yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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