awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
