I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
