pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
