So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
