haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
