Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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