I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
