If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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