haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
