i just google imaged poop.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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