I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
