So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
