i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
