were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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