so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
