You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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