i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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