Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
