Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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