I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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