please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
