His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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