Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
