i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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