I think I died a long time ago.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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