ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
