You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
