dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
