i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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