My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize