I've blown a few things in my day
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
