Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
