Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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