How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
