she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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