It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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