So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
