What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize