i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
