I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
