So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
