If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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