dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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