it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
