Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
