No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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