is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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