was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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