Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You're a waste of cheezeits
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize