He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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