It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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