Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
