I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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