Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
