I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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