8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
