Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
