Whats the glycemic index on semen?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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