I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
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