You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
