dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
